Breakups are never easy. The pain is unbearable. But, hey! You will be fine eventually. Knowing your inner strength and having a new set of goals is a challenge. Cry if you must. Do not hold back tears. Express it in arts, writing, singing, exercising or focusing on your career or studies. But, chin up, always dress on how you like. Build yourself up. You are a phoenix rising from the ashes, powerful and strong. And, just in case you forgot…let me remind you, dear woman, you are BEAUTIFUL!
January 2017, I hate you! First, I got sick. Second, my career is down the road. Third, after 12 months and 8 days, my relationship ended. So, F*CK you! I cannot blame anyone for all these misfortunes. As usual, if there’s something wrong do not point a finger right away because your other three fingers point back at you. I am still learning to cope things up. Pain is there. I am 29 and I believe I am mature enough to pick myself up. Love is still there and I just cannot undo things in a snap of a finger. So, help me God!
I am a firm believer of who breaks you cannot mend you back and you can never be friends with your ex(es). Usually, I would delete and not reply or answer calls. That’s my way of moving on. Though I miss him, I will control myself not to do anything. It’s not pride, it is what you call self-help!
Honestly, I still believe in my happy ever after. Unimaginable for now but looking at my parents, yes, it’s existent. I cannot use drugs, beer, or commit suicide. I have a one-year old niece and I want to be her role model. My parents and sisters are paying my medical bills and suicide is not an option. I just need to be me. Alone for now, quiet and finding inner peace.
On the 16th, we are supposed to celebrate our 13th month. I may be crying on that day in the church. I do not know! I will miss him but I will give him what he asked of me, space! I wish him the galaxy and all the stars. No hatred but just pain. This time, I would be able to prove that I am stronger than pain and can grow to be the person I dreamed of.
Wednesdays and Sundays, we used to have our date but I need to have a plan to divert whatever it is. Seems like the movie date for Beauty and the Beast and Mummy will be canceled too. Oh well, poor me!
Tomorrow, it’s going to be crazy. I do not know what to do. He will forget about me. Replace me. I am not sure I can.
For sure, my next relationship would be someone who will prove himself despite all the high walls I will build. He must surpass and break those walls. My emotional pain is the walls. I may reject and insult him and if he passes those. Then, he may be worth the YES! Oh common, dream on. The future is unpredictable. Maybe I should just live one day at a time.
P.S. It is already 1:50am. I cannot sleep. End of relationship is not the end of the world.